In Nelson, BC recording "We Just Fit" at John Tucker's studio.....

What is success really? What does it mean to me? I had a chat with one of my besties: Becca (the friend from camp whom I've known since we were 10 and met at camp in the same cabin), and she shed some light on the idea of success for Sarah. I've been experiencing some ups and downs over the past month (I know, I know...who hasn't?!) with my music. I've been super psyched (pardon the west coast mountain lingo I've fallen back into using) about my memoir project which is almost finished, and proud of myself that the live tracks sound great, and I just finished recording the last two studio tracks over the past couple of weeks. Then, I played a couple of shows and even though I played well, and the people who were there were lovely, I was bummed that at one show, there were 10 people, and at the other: 6. Moments like this make me question, What the hell am I doing trying to make it as an artist? Am I insane? Many of you would say yes, I'm crazy, but for other reasons, besides my career choice. I started a Crowd-funding campaign last week to help with all of the costs of recording, mastering, production, art, graphics, book layout, editing etc. etc. and there is some fear that is trickling in: If I can't even get a full house to come to my shows, how the hell am I going to get people to support my new project? Then, I start the whole self-loathing artist thing, which is so boring and so energy draining, and I start to question if I'll ever be successful.

I told Becca this afternoon about my lackluster.  audiences, and the fear I have about being able to raise enough money to bring the project to completion. I then got sick of the pity party conversation and started telling her about my last few weeks in BC. My other bestie Shannon came to pick me up from Cranbrook, where yet another bestie, Cassy had dropped me (and my 2 bags, 3 pairs of skis etc. etc.) off. The drive to Nelson was spectacular: bluebird sky, great chats and giggles and tasty road trip treats. After Thelma and Louise-ing it (we JUST made the boat) to make the ferry to Balfour, we hit up Ainsworth hotsprings and soaked for a couple of hours. Luckily for me, Shannon's parents needed someone to look after their cat for a couple of weeks while they were away. To say that their house is unique is like saying Hugh Hefner has had a couple of ladies in his bed...This house is amazing, AND the whole premise is it's actually like a boat. The front deck is in the shape of a boat, complete with a mast. On top of the roof lies a gargoyle wearing skis. Downstairs is a secret wall that opens to a man cave, complete with fuzeball table. The house is built around a huge rock formation, so you feel like you are outside. The piano had just been tuned. I had about 8 powder days. I ski toured a few days and felt ridiculously alive. And....and....and....The list goes on. 
After telling Becca about my past few weeks here in BC, she bluntly said, "See, that's success in my books. You just have to look at success differently." She's so right. I have the most amazing friends to support me on this uncertain crazy journey, and I have family who are on my side too. My dad flew out to Invermere yesterday and we are now in a sweet pad overlooking the mountains to spend a week here together skiing and spending quality time. To me, that's success. What are your ideas of success? I'd love to know...

PS Even though I've had a breakthrough and am feeling all warm and fuzzy with the knowing that I'm blessed as all hell, I still need some help with my indiegogo campaign, so if you feel like being successful with helping with my success there, please click here.
As always, thank you for reading, and coming along on the journey with me.

love and light

Sarah


Admiring my lines from the ridge down in Five Mile Basin....heaven!

Comments

Sarah Calvert April 14, 2014 @12:02 pm
Thanks so much for the encouragement and also, thanks for your thoughts Kit....we have a lot of the same views on success. At Kitchi, I've spent many-a-time laughing with friends. And yes, I hope to see you there too sister!
Jean Baptiste De Collier April 04, 2014 @04:08 pm
right on..!
Kit April 04, 2014 @12:52 pm
Hey Sarah. I think success has a different meaning depending on what you need most in your life at a given time. Sometimes we focus on money as an indicator of success if that appears to be a paramount concern at the moment. I know lately I have been wondering about financial success as I consider one young adult child starting out, one in university and one making plans for higher education - I often wish I have more financial success in order to make their roads a little smoother. Then there is career success, which I guess you have been wondering about with your concerts. I think about it in terms of where I am going next, whether I want to pursue administration, or a consultant path. Will I be satisfied with my career over the next 15 years? At the end I realize what I don't wonder about is emotional and spiritual success. I love and am loved. I am satisfied and positive about my job each day, even on the really tough days. When I can sit up in bed on a Saturday morning with my goldens sleeping beside me, drinking tea and reading, and know that my family is well and happy, then I feel success. When I am drinking wine with friends and laughing so hard my stomach hurts, then I feel success. And when I learn something new, challenge an opinion, take a risk, and have a positive effect on someone, I feel success. While more money and a higher prestige job might make me feel better, not having what I have now in terms of emotional and spiritual success would be devastating. sorry for the novel. Hope to see you at Kitchi

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